saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize