Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize
