Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
