at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
