so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
