apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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