I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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