So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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