Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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