There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I accidentally burped into my bong.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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