he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize