I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
