I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
