I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
