There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
