think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
