so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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