I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
