I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize