just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Blood and glitter go together right?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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