I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You are a genius and a whore.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
