just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
