my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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