I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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