We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
