hotel room ftw
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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