The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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