i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize