I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
All I want is dick and wine.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
