So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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