Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
