booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
