So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
