Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
