so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
