I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
