Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Blood and glitter go together right?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
