I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
