Whod you bang
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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