I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
