I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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