I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
