So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
