we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
