Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
