I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
