hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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