He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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