Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
