YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
