Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
