they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
